“I just don’t get it, Christina.” My friend was sharing a challenge he was facing with one of his consulting clients. He was genuinely puzzled at this behavior - why would his consulting client’s actions be so different from their words?

Have you ever observed this kind of obvious conflict in someone else?

My teammates and I looked at each other with big eyes. I could tell they were thinking what I was thinking. Our stakeholder wanted too much. The ask was too big. There was no way it could be done, at least not in the timeframe she was expecting. 

Have you ever felt this way?

“Wait, why do you do that?” Thankfully, I kept this thought to myself as my new teammate was sharing the team’s schedule.

Have you ever found yourself doing something in a way that made sense in the past, but doesn’t anymore?

Suddenly, we hear a crash and he starts crying. That’s when my very wise young niece observed, “that kid didn’t make a good choice.” My mom and I exchanged knowing glances over her head. She spoke the truth, in a way that only young kids do. 

Have you ever seen someone speak the truth like this? 

I was in middle school, and a few of us in my youth group were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up. This particular girl was sharing her dream, and she had the whole plan mapped out. I was flabbergasted. I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, much less the path to take to get there. 

Have you ever felt this way?

My head was full at the end of every day, swimming with how much I needed to to learn about our product and the organization I had just joined. I felt two steps behind everyone around me. How do they know so much? Why is it all so easy for them? 

Have you ever felt this way?

“I need to leave my job.” I was finally admitting to my family what I had known in my heart for a while. I knew what I needed to do, but it took me a while to admit it. Especially out loud. 

Have you ever felt this way?

“How’s it coming along?” “Slow,” I said. “Sometimes it feels like I need to squint my eyes and tilt my head to see any progress at all.”

Have you ever felt this way?

I didn’t know what to do. It felt like a monumental decision. I was torn. Do I stay or do I go? Do I pivot or persevere?

Have you ever felt this way? 

Things had been simmering for a while. A few especially challenging work situations, coupled with some personal circumstances led Walter to believe it couldn’t get any worse. And then it did. Several things hit all at once, and Walter knew he couldn’t let things keep going this way. He needed help. 

Have you ever felt this way? 

Fall is in the air. Here in Colorado, we’re already seeing hints of fall color on some of the trees. The high country is showing early signs of the vibrant gold that will cover the aspen trees. For me, the fall always brings a sense of renewal and refocus.

Do you feel this way, too?

I love roasted broccoli. My young niece, on the other hand, wasn’t convinced. She tried to exert control over the situation - make a face, complain, or resist. Until I gave her a little agency in the situation.

Has this ever happened to you?

Do you ever get caught up with all the nuances and criteria that could play into a big decision? 

Your head swimming by all the different things you could factor into your choice…the “what if this” and “what if that” questions? 

My mom suggested that I try Tae Kwon Do. I wasn’t sure what to make of this. It was so different from anything I thought I would be interested in, but someone who knew me well was suggesting that this might be a good thing for me. 

Has this ever happened to you?

“I still haven’t made progress”, I thought to myself. In this particular planning session, I was bemoaning the fact that “craft room” was still on the list. It had been on the list for weeks, but I hadn’t made any progress. So I needed to add it to the list yet again. 

Can you relate?

Sure enough, there were a ton of those pesky beetles on the geraniums in the pot on the far right, and a few in each of the other pots. The next day, armed with my container of soapy water and wearing gardening gloves. Then I realized it. I had let one unpleasant task take over my mind, pushing out so many great things. 

Has this ever happened to you? 

I remember the first time I went into IKEA. They guided us so expertly, we almost forgot that we didn’t chart our own path. We didn’t pick where we went or what we saw.

Have you ever felt this way in your own life?

“When I first came to coaching with Christina, I had just been laid off from a career I’d poured a decade into. I felt like I was standing at the edge of something I couldn’t yet name—part grief, part possibility—and I knew I needed help navigating it.”

The fleas! This was too much. “Betsie, there’s no way even God can make me grateful for a flea.” This was too far. In these circumstances, with so much hardship, pain, and fear, trying to be grateful for this latest challenge was just too much. 

Have you ever felt this way?

We were sitting in a department staff meeting, waiting to learn what the future held for us. There had been a few leadership changes, and we were going to find out how our new boss wanted to organize the department. I left that meeting having realized something very important. 

Has this ever happened to you?