I had a 45 minute break between calls. Perfect, I thought. I’ll eat some lunch, make progress on an interesting book, and have a few minutes to prep for my next conversation. I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Oops. I didn’t have anything to eat. My system had failed me. Ok, my system hadn’t failed me, I had failed to work the system. 

Have you ever noticed this about your systems?

Slowly it dawned on us. We were in the rows to shift the weight of the plane, off balance as the passengers and checked luggage were all offloading at the same time. After a few moments the flight attendant raised his hand again to halt the passengers behind us, and then he motioned for those of us who had stepped into the rows to resume our exit. The whole experience only lasted a few minutes, but it got me thinking. 

Where else do we find ourselves unbalanced while we’re making progress on our goals?

What’s your ideal weekend? A few things probably come to mind when I ask this question. Perhaps there’s time with family or chosen family, physical activities that you enjoy, time spent outdoors, space for spiritual connection or intellectual pursuits. And I’ll bet that if you shared that ideal weekend with me, I would learn a lot about what you value. What is important to you. What lights you up and fills your cup. But what if I asked you about how you actually spend your time, across your entire week. 

Would it match those values?

I attended a workshop last week, where at least three different presenters all mentioned the same thing. It was in varied contexts. One used it to open up a talk. Another used it as a reminder to herself to be forgiving of areas where she (a very successful professional) still needed to grow. The third shared it as a reminder to the group. Each time it was mentioned, it caught my attention. So powerful and so simple at the same time. 

Ready for it? 

“I just need to go to bed earlier. I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t happen.” My client was visibly frustrated with himself.

“I know why I want to make this change. So why can’t I do it?”

The other day, as I was listening to a climactic scene play out in a Harry Potter audiobook while tending to some rather uninspiring laundry, when I was so struck by a particular sentence I had to set down the shirt I was folding to listen to it again. 

I recently watched a fascinating matchup between the #1 and #8 seeds in a first round bracket of Tournament of Champions. In the end, the bottom seed chef who played strategically won the match. The chef who lost was left stumped - how had his incredible talent not won the day? Turns out, he was playing a new game by the old rules, and it didn’t work. 

Have you ever noticed this in your own life? 

One of my favorite commercials in this past Olympics coverage stars a young girl watching figure skating. She’s so inspired by what she sees, she sets up her own “skating rink” in the attic. She places all of her stuffed animal friends around the room, like spectators in an area. And then she starts skating, just like her olympic idol.

Have you ever been filled by possibility like this?

It felt like I had been working on it forever, never to be finished. The last few weeks were different. Finally, a few days ago, it felt inevitable that I would finish it. 

Have you ever felt this shift? 

“I see you. You are valued and appreciated.” Wow. I was moved. Receiving the gift of being seen, acknowledged for who I was, was powerful. 

Have you experienced the power of being acknowledged?

I felt overwhelmed. The kind of overwhelm where you know there’s a lot to do, but you don’t know where to start. Your mind won’t stop identifying more and more things that need to be done, each more important than the last. Before you’ve even fully processed one idea, another one comes up. And another. And another. I needed to find a way to slow down and take back control.

Have you ever felt this way? 

We were in limbo, and everyone was focused on an uncertain future. Things had come to a standstill, everyone focusing on just enough to get by and meet commitments, but no one was truly engaged in the work. 

Have you ever felt this way? 

It started out as an ordinary morning. Suddenly, I felt that something was off. 

Has something like this ever happened to you?

I recently got new glasses. Even though they’re light, comfortable, and stylish, I’m not a fan of having something in between me and the rest of the world, and I’m often acutely aware of the impact on my peripheral vision. I often find myself asking the question…

Do I want to see less, more clearly, or do I want to see more, less clearly? 

I was in middle school, already significantly taller than most professional skaters, and struggling with learning a new jump. I had the movements down, but just couldn’t get the air I needed to complete the rotations.  And my coach told me, “You need an injection of courage.”

Have you ever faced something similar? 

A consultancy I used to work for did something really powerful. We didn’t tell our clients what would be possible if they worked with us. We showed them. And when they saw, they would get excited. They would see what it would mean for their organization and the impact that working with us would have. 

Do you ever wish you could see your own future this clearly?

We were prepping to kickoff a big engagement with a new client. We were expecting a large group - around 10 on the client side, over half that on ours. Most of the client participants were flying in specifically for this event.  As we were heading home for the night, hoping we were ready for the big event the next day, I couldn’t help but wonder….

Had we focused on the right things?

I was having such a case of the “shoulds”. I had just finished doing a review of the previous year, considering what worked and what didn’t, how I did against the goals I had set for myself, and where I hadn’t. And I came away with a list of “shoulds.”

Have you been there? 

Today in Colorado we have 10 minutes more of daylight than we did on the winter solstice, just 2 and a half weeks ago. Just 10 more minutes. It might not seem like much. And in some ways it’s not. But it’s enough that I’m already starting to notice.

Do you notice it?

A few years back, I was in a yoga class. And the instructor said something to me that has stuck with me ever since. She explained that we should only push our poses to about 80% of what we thought we could handle. And by doing that, over time, we would have a stronger practice and achieve more. 

Have you ever tried that?