What happens now?
It was an amazing trip.
Beautiful landscapes. Interesting places with unique history.
Friendly, welcoming people.
Delicious (and sometimes unusual) food.
Freedom from the day-to-day responsibilities, freedom to explore and be present.
When I came home, I didn’t want it to end. I knew I was different.
And yet, as I settled back into my daily routine, the obligations of my life, the familiar patterns, I could tell I was losing the impact of the experience.
I had been through something significant. I should be transformed by it. And yet there was a risk of it having no impact.
Have you ever felt this way?
This doesn’t only happen when we go through something amazing, like an incredible trip, the birth of a child, or the achievement of a huge professional milestone.
This can happen when we go through tough experiences, too. When we face a scary diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, or a professional disappointment.
In many ways, it’s easier to NOT be transformed by our experiences than it is to allow ourselves to grow based on what we’ve been through.
Rather than learning from a professional setback, we look for a new job.
Instead of changing our behavior after a bad breakup, we find a new person to date.
We leave behind the person we were on that trip and go back to the way things were before the experience.
There is good news, however. With just a little bit of intention, we don’t have to let those experiences and opportunities pass us by. We can incorporate them into who we are and who we want to be.
Does a recent experience come to mind? Something that you know you want to transform you?
Here are three things you can do to make sure that experience becomes part of who you are:
Pause and Reflect
It starts with taking a little time to reflect. What made it significant to you? How did you show up in the moment? What did you learn? What do you want to take away from the experience?
Perhaps your team just achieved something no one thought they could, and you know it’s in part because of the way you kept the team focused on the end goal. Or maybe you attended a memorial service for a loved one and are struck by the impact they had because of the way they approached their life.
Express Gratitude
Each experience can teach us something, if we let it. Taking a moment to be grateful for the experience that we’ve had, especially the ones that are challenging, can help us to be open to the transformation that can come.
Are you grateful for the marriage that ended that produced amazing children? Do you appreciate the resourcefulness you’ve been able to find in light of a tough financial situation? Are you thankful for the opportunity to visit a new place?
Move forward with intention, and a plan
It’s not enough to say “I want to…”, we need to make specific plans for how we’ll incorporate our experience into our life and our being.
Perhaps you loved the simplicity of only having what you need while you’re traveling. What will you do specifically to eliminate the overwhelm and complexity in your home? Maybe your last big project struggled because of lack of clarity and priorities. How will you bring a clear vision and decision-making criteria to your next project?
It’s easy to let an experience go by without really being changed by it. But when we take a moment to reflect, express gratitude for the experience, and move forward with a plan, we can continue to iterate on who we are, growing from every experience.
What experiences in your life do you want to change you?
As you read this, what comes up?
Should we talk?
You’re here. You want to be there. I can help.
Let’s talk. Book time, and we’ll figure out how to get you unstuck and get going.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
June 26, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
