I needed to own it
We were sitting in a department staff meeting, waiting to learn what the future held for us.
There had been a few leadership changes, and we were going to find out how our new boss wanted to organize the department.
He walked us through the changes, and slowly I realized it. He was putting me back into a role I had been in several years prior, ignoring the work I was doing now.
It stung. My current role was important to the organization, and more importantly to me, it was moving me in the direction I wanted to take my career. The old role was a step back. A role I was good at, but wasn’t one I wanted to do anymore.
To his credit, my new boss quickly backpedaled as soon as he understood what his changes really meant.
But the damage was done, and I left that meeting having realized something very important.
I couldn’t abdicate responsibility to my career to my leader. I needed to own it for myself.
Has this ever happened to you?
Perhaps you find yourself, like I did, on a career trajectory driven by your organization. Growing in ways that help the business, increasing in responsibility and impact with time. And then something shifts.
Maybe it’s a reorg that doesn’t seem to fit. Perhaps it’s burnout from doing work that didn’t really line up with your strengths. Or maybe it’s the realization that the role you’re in and the direction you’re headed isn’t actually where you want to go.
So often, especially for those of us who have a reputation for being able to tackle hard or ambiguous situations, we’re used to stepping up in ways our leadership needs. This can lead to wonderful opportunities to learn new skills, gain visibility, and make an impact.
At the same time, those opportunities may not actually be ones we want. They might not help us build the skills we need, open up the doors we hope for, or be worth the cost.
So what do we do?
If you find yourself in a situation where you need to reclaim ownership over your trajectory, here are three things that may help:
Get clear with your direction
It’s hard to say whether an opportunity is a “good choice” without being able to answer “for what?”. If you’re not yet able to articulate the direction you want to head, start by identifying the impact you want to have, the kinds of activities you want to do, or the kinds of roles you want to have.
Do you ultimately want to climb the corporate ladder, or run your own small business? Are you happier in a fast-paced environment or would you prefer predictability? Do you need a highly collaborative team environment or are you happier when you’re working solo?
Evaluate for where you’re at
Once you have clarity around your direction, consider how well your current trajectory sets up that future.
Perhaps you eventually want to lead a non-profit. Does your current role give you the skills and experience you’ll need to be successful in that kind of role? Maybe you long to be a globetrotter. Does your current lifestyle set you up for future travel?
Evaluate for new opportunities
As new opportunities come your way, consider them against your future direction. Are they on the right path, or at least get you closer to that path? If not, is there a way to shape them to better suit your desired future?
Maybe you’re recruited to lead a team for a high priority project. Will this project leverage skills you want to do, or position you for a role you’re hoping for when the project is completed? Perhaps you’re asked to step up in a community you are involved with. Will stepping up leverage skills you want to employ and have the impact you’d like to have?
It’s easy to say yes to the opportunities that come our way, but sometimes when we do that we find ourselves headed in a direction we don’t want to go. By getting clear about the direction we want to head, assessing where we are, and evaluating new opportunities for their alignment with that direction can help us moving forward, while still able to be fluid based on the circumstances around us.
Where do you find yourself?
Should we talk?
You’re here. You want to be there. I can help.
Let’s talk. Book time, and we’ll figure out how to get you unstuck and get going.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
July 3, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
