Is it time?
It was time.
I’d like to think I’m pretty good at figuring out how to work through the things in front of me to achieve my goal. From my previous career as a product manager and product leader, I have a lot of experience in clarifying goals and objectives, breaking things down into manageable chunks, and understanding what’s really important. I know myself pretty well, too, so I can often spot my own excuses and know when I’m telling myself a story about what’s going on.
And yet, I had come to the decision that I wanted a coach. Someone who would help me get to the next level, and work through some patterns that I knew I wanted to change.
Have you ever felt this way?
Making the decision to work with a coach was one thing, but finding the right coach was completely different. I had been lucky with previous employers to have received powerful coaching by circumstance - I’ve had a couple of coaches provided by my employer and a number of great coach-like managers and leaders.
So finding a coach on my own felt a bit overwhelming.
Perhaps this describes you as well.
Maybe you have your sights set on a promotion at work, but know you need to work on your executive presence or communication skills to be considered. Or perhaps you just stepped into a new role, and know you need to approach your work differently to meet the demands of this new opportunity.
Or maybe you know your own tendency to be reactive and allow others to influence your actions and opinions, and want to find a new approach to respond rather than react. Perhaps you know your career trajectory needs a shift, something different, but you just aren’t sure which direction you want to go.
Whether we’re facing an obstacle in our life, a challenge that just won’t go away, or there’s a goal we want to achieve, having a coach can be the difference between a successful outcome and continuing to struggle on our own. A coach can take us from good to great, accelerate our insights, and help us meet the moment more quickly and effectively than we can do on our own.
If you’re thinking about coaching, here are three things that I considered when selecting my coach, that just might help you, too:
Rapport
I started by asking myself if this coach was someone I wanted on my team. Is this someone who’s perspective I would appreciate? Would I feel good about seeing this person’s name on my calendar, even if I was a little apprehensive about what we may uncover together? Would they challenge me in the way I need to be challenged, and support me in a way that’s helpful? Does my coach see me as someone who is broken, that they need to fix, or someone who is already creative, resourceful, and whole?
If you’re not sure what style you may need, consider the people who have helped (or not helped) you in the past, perhaps a teacher, sports coach, or manager. What about their approach worked for you? Did they tell you the truth whether you wanted to hear it or not? Ask insightful questions to allow you to come to your own answers? Believe in you in a way you hadn’t experienced before?
Your agenda
Next came my agenda. Would the coach help me focus on achieving my goals, or would they operate with their own agenda? Do they understand what I’m hoping to achieve, or are they wanting to prescribe a particular framework that may or may not be helpful? Will they adapt their approach based on what’s actually working, or continue to approach me the way they do every other client they work with?
Even if you’re not exactly sure what you want to get out of coaching, your coach should be able to help you clarify what you’re hoping to achieve and be willing to adapt their approach based on what’s actually working or not working for you. A good question to consider is will they be receptive to feedback, and someone you can challenge if you’re not getting what you need?
Experience
While it was easy to think I needed a coach that specialized in my specific circumstances and goals, I found that it wasn’t actually necessary. If you’re looking to start your own business or train for a marathon, a teaching-oriented coach may be a great fit to help you get the fundamentals down. But I’ve found that often the tactics are easy enough to figure out on my own, and what’s more powerful in a coach is someone with the experience to see past the surface and help me uncover deeper truths and motivations.
When you’re thinking about what coach will be right for you, consider what experience you actually need from a coach, and what might be a distraction. Do you need someone who’s been in your shoes before, or is it actually more helpful to find a coach with an outside perspective to help you look at your situation with fresh eyes? Will the coach try to sell you a one-size-fits all approach to solve all your problems, or be able to pull from a variety of experiences and resources to support you in a way that fits?
Deciding to invest in yourself in coaching is a big step, and can feel overwhelming. Take your time and find the right fit. The right coach will want to do the same for you. Make sure your rapport will support you in the way that you need, that the coach will lean into and help you achieve your agenda, and has the experience that’s actually helpful in getting you the results you’re looking for. I’ve found a great one for me, and I hope you do, too.
Are you ready to find your coach?
You’re here. You want to be there. I can help.
Let’s talk. Book time, and we’ll figure out how to get you unstuck and get going.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
June 19, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
