Can you be grateful for fleas?
Suddenly I sat up, striking my head on the cross-slats above. Something had pinched my leg.
“Fleas!” I cried. “Betsie, the place is swarming with them!”
We scrambled across the intervening platforms, heads low to avoid another bump, dropped down to the aisle, and edged our way to a patch of light.
“Here! And here another one!” I wailed. “Betsie, how can we live in such a place?”
In her memoir The Hiding Place, watchmaker Corrie ten Boom shares her experience in WWII Holland, where she, then 51, her older sister Betsie, and their elderly father were arrested and taken to the Ravensbrück concentration camp for their involvement with the Dutch underground resistance network, housing and smuggling over 800 Jews to safe places.
In this particular story, Corrie is bemoaning the infestation of fleas in their new barracks.
The building, designed to hold four hundred people, was crammed with over fourteen hundred, more arriving every week.
The toilets were overflowing, the bedding was soiled, and any movement on the upper bunks meant soiled straw would fall down on those below.
‘Give thanks in all circumstances!’ said Betsie. That’s what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barracks!”
I stared at her, then around me at the dark, foul-aired room.
“Such as?” I said.
“Such as being assigned here together.”
“Thank You,” Betsie went on serenely, “for the fleas and for—”
The fleas! This was too much. “Betsie, there’s no way even God can make me grateful for a flea.”
This was too far.
In these circumstances, with so much hardship, pain, and fear, trying to be grateful for this latest challenge was just too much.
Have you ever felt this way?
A few pages later, we learn the gift of the fleas in the barracks.
“You know we’ve never understood why we had so much freedom in the big room,” she said. “Well—I’ve found out.”
That afternoon, she said, there’d been confusion in her knitting group about sock sizes and they’d asked the supervisor to come and settle it.
“But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t step through the door and neither would the guards. And you know why?”
Betsie could not keep the triumph from her voice: “Because of the fleas! That’s what she said, ‘That place is crawling with fleas!’”
My mind rushed back to our first hour in this place. I remembered Betsie’s bowed head, remembered her thanks to God for creatures I could see no use for.
The guards refused to enter the quarters because of the fleas…leaving Corrie, Betsie, and their fellow prisoners with much more freedom than they normally would have. Freedom to care for each other, lift each other’s spirits, and have a reprieve from the hatred around them.
While most of us won’t experience anything like what Corrie and Betsie faced at Ravensbrück, we do understand what it’s like to face difficulties and feel overwhelm, anger, and despair.
So how do we find gratitude?
Sometimes, with hindsight, we can see it.
The difficult layoff that opens up a fresh new chapter.
The challenging diagnosis that brings us closer to a loved one.
The messy situation that helps us grow as a leader, the complicated project that gives us the skills needed to secure a promotion, the pain endured training for a big race.
When we find gratitude, we feel more at peace. We find agency in the situation. We can move forward.
So how do we find gratitude?
When you’re facing a situation that feels overwhelming, hard, or difficult, try these three steps to find a little gratitude:
Start by assessing the situation neutrally
Before you can find gratitude, start with just describing the situation from a place of neutrality.
Perhaps you’re facing a department reorg designed to set the team up to better align with company values which means a few people are being let go while others are facing changes to their job descriptions. Maybe you’ve learned of a crack in the foundation of your home that is forcing a decision to invest money in fixing it or selling the house you’ve lived in for a decade.
Look for what’s already good
Often, when we take a moment to truly consider our circumstances, we can find things to be grateful for, even if they’re small in comparison to the larger situation.
Maybe you’re now facing a long commute because of a return to office mandate. Can you be grateful for the time to listen to a podcast or audio book? Perhaps the airconditioning isn’t working in your hotel room. Can you be grateful for the nice view and comfortable bed?
Offer your gratitude for the rest
Sometimes the blessing in the situation has yet to reveal itself. Like Betsie, can you still express gratitude for the silver lining you don’t yet see?
Perhaps you just learned your boss is leaving and you’ll be reporting to a new leader. Can you offer your gratitude to be able to learn something from this new manager, even though you have yet to learn anything about them? Maybe you’re facing a challenging diagnosis. Can you be grateful for the personal growth you’ll experience, even if you have yet to know what that looks like?
Finding gratitude in tough times often takes intention. Starting by looking at the situation naturally, finding the already visible blessings, and then offering gratitude for the blessings yet to come helps give us peace in the situation and a greater feeling of agency, knowing that we can at least control how we see the situation we’re in.
Where will you choose to be grateful?
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How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
July 10, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
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