Why are you suggesting that?
I didn’t want to do it.
I was 14, a freshman in high school.
And my mom suggested that I try Tae Kwon Do.
Really?
Before this, my athletic passion was figure skating. When I was 5, I desperately wanted to skate, so my parents put me in lessons. I loved it, and took lessons and performed in annual ice shows throughout my elementary and middle school years.
But by the time I started high school, for a variety of reasons, I was no longer skating.
So my mom suggested Tae Kwon Do.
I was resistant. While I missed having a physical outlet, this particular option couldn’t be more different than figure skating. Instead of graceful movements set to music with beautiful costumes, it was focused on perfecting kicks and punches, wearing a generic uniform with a colored belt. Sparring with an opponent would replace choreographed numbers. Plus, my younger brothers were already taking classes, and what 14-year old girl wants to follow in her younger brother’s footsteps?
I couldn’t see the appeal.
But she gently persisted, encouraging me to give it a try for a month. That I might like it.
I wasn’t sure what to make of this. It was so different from anything I thought I would be interested in, but someone who knew me well was suggesting that this might be a good thing for me.
Has this ever happened to you?
I ended up trying it for a month, knowing I had an out.
Guess what?
I ended up loving it.
I loved having goals to work towards as I moved up each belt level, with the challenge increasing each time. I enjoyed practicing and perfecting each individual kick and punch, and putting them together in forms (set patterns of movements we needed to perform for each belt test). I found sparring against an opponent to be an interesting challenge, learning how to anticipate and respond to my opponent’s moves. I competed in local and national tournaments. I taught classes and coached students. And in my senior year of high school, I became the first in my family to earn a black belt.
Often, those around us see opportunities for us that we don’t see for ourselves.
A career direction that doesn’t quite seem to make sense.
A book or movie we’re not drawn to.
A stretch project at work that we’re not sure would be a great fit.
And yet, sometimes those things end up being the most rewarding and the most enjoyable parts of our lives.
Recently, I was on a call with a client who shared that they had just made a decision they were really excited about. It was something someone else had encouraged, but at the time they were resistant - not sure it was the right thing. They had to go through their own process to get to the same conclusion.
And it got me thinking…how do we know when to give something a go, and when to trust our first reaction and decline?
Here are a few tips that might help:
Get curious
When facing a recommendation, rather than rush to judgement, asking a few questions can help understand where the suggestion is coming from. Take the time to get curious, and ask questions to uncover what it is about you and the opportunity that is causing the other person to see a fit.
Perhaps a colleague is suggesting you apply for a special program at work. Can you ask what about the opportunity is causing them to recommend it for you? Maybe a friend wants to set you up on a blind date. What about this other person does your friend think will make them a good match for you?
Do our own research
You don’t need to take their recommendation at face value. Explore the idea on your own to see if it’s something that might be interesting to consider.
Maybe a mentor is suggesting a new career direction for you. Who do you know in that area, who might be able to offer insight into what moving in that direction might be like? Maybe your spouse is suggesting that you might enjoy a particular new hobby. Can you watch a video on the craft, to learn a bit more about what would be involved?
Experiment
If you can see potential based on their recommendation and your own research, but you’re still not sure, is there a way you can try it out to see if it’s a good fit?
Perhaps your manager is suggesting you take on a stretch project. Can you take on a small task to get a taste of what the larger project would entail, before agreeing to the larger scope? Maybe your friend has suggested you move across country to their new city. Can you visit for a week to experience the city for yourself?
Sometimes, others see possibilities for us that we don’t see for ourselves. When we’re not sure if the opportunity is really right for us, getting curious, doing a little research, and finding ways to experiment with the path can help us gain clarity.
What opportunities do you want to consider?
Would you like to have a thought partner to help you consider your options?
Let’s talk.
You’re here. You want to be there. I can help.
Book time, and we’ll figure out how to get you unstuck and get going.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
August 14, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
