What option will you choose?
Everyone’s sitting in a circle, with a pile of gifts in the middle. Some are opened, the surprises exposed. Others are still wrapped (some with beautiful paper and ribbon, some…well, let’s just say it’s the thought that counts).
The room is filled with laughter. It’s clear which gifts are the favorites (who doesn’t love homemade peppermint fudge?) and which are not (only one person seems interested in the lime green fuzzy dice). There’s a bit of teasing happening…the volume gets louder with every new surprise revealed.
It’s your turn…which gift do you want?
This holiday, gatherings across the country will include a white elephant gift exchange. While there are many variations on the rules, the basic premise is simple…
Each guest brings a gift, and draws a number - their spot in the unwrapping order.
The first guest selects any gift and opens it.
Going in order, the remaining guests can either steal an opened gift or open a new gift. If your gift gets stolen, you can steal another gift or open a new one.
The question becomes…do you take a gift you already know or open one you don’t?
Does life ever feel this way?
So often in life, we’re faced with a decision like this. Do we go with a known quantity, even if it might not be what we want, or do we go for the unknown, with all the associated risks?
Perhaps it’s a job that isn’t fulfilling, or perhaps has even become painful, but it’s familiar and you have friends there.
Perhaps it’s a relationship where you’re going through the motions, even though your heart isn’t really in it.
Perhaps it’s a home that no longer fits your family or lifestyle, but the mortgage is reasonable and it’s close to your favorite spots.
How do you know if you should go with the known, familiar, option, or risk it for something yet to be seen?
A few questions that might help you find your answer:
What do you actually know about the uncertain option?
Usually the unknown isn’t completely unknown. When we really sit down and think about it, we often know much more than we think we do. About the situation, the possibilities, ourselves. Maybe there’s just a bit of research you could do to learn even more about the uncertain option, to gain a better understanding.
Perhaps you’re thinking of making a career change, and you already know someone in that line of work, and you know how your experience and passion will help you bring a unique perspective. Or maybe you’ve always wanted to live in a different city, so you take a couple of weekend trips there to get familiar with the area.
Which option will let you better live into your values and priorities?
You know best what’s important to you. When you step back and reflect on how the options stack up against your values, does one win out? Is there one that feels icky, like you just can’t do it?
Perhaps you are in a job that no longer challenges you, but has great health insurance and other perks. How does your value of intellectual stimulation compare to your value of stability? Or maybe you’ve always wanted to take up improv, but you’re worried about making a fool of yourself. How does your value of creative expression compare to your value of being liked by others?
What would you be giving up (or gaining)?
With every choice we make, we gain and we lose. When you think about what you gain or lose with the choice in front of you, consider what’s actually true about the situation.
Perhaps you’re considering whether to accept a stretch opportunity at work. What about your current responsibilities will you have to give up in order to succeed with the new opportunity? What would you be gaining by taking it on? What would be giving up if you said no? What would you gain by turning it down? Or maybe you’re thinking about becoming a parent. What would you gain or lose if you stayed childless? What would you gain or lose if you took the leap and had a baby?
We face decisions like this all the time - do we stay with the familiar, the known, or do we take a leap into something with uncertainty and risk. But usually, when we consider what we actually know, how our options align with our values, and what we’re really gaining and giving up, the decision becomes clearer. It’s just up to us to actually to do the reflection and listen to the results.
What option will you choose?
As you consider the uncertain decisions in your life, are you ready for a little help exploring your options and making your decision? I love helping people work through situations like these in their lives, and come to better clarity around the path forward.
Book your free strategy session and let’s dig in.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
December 5, 2024
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
