Are you playing whack-a-mole?
He had hit rock bottom.
That’s how Walter* describes the situation that led to his decision to invest in coaching.
Things had been simmering for a while. He no longer recognized the job that he had taken just a few years earlier. Leadership changes, re-orgs, shifting priorities, and team turnover had taken its toll, and the job he was expected to do was now totally different from the job he had accepted just a few years before. A few especially challenging work situations, coupled with some personal circumstances led Walter to believe it couldn’t get any worse.
And then it did. Several things hit all at once, and Walter knew he couldn’t let things keep going this way.
He needed help.
Have you ever felt this way?
“I knew that I needed to do something different. My career was the largest driver of my stress and also the sole provider for my family’s income. Finding an approach that would help me address that stress proactively instead of reactively drew me to coaching with Christina.”
When we started, Walter felt like he was playing whack-a-mole…trying to hit back at everything that was coming his way.
The leader who got upset at bad news.
The peer who had questions he couldn’t answer.
The pressure to solve everyone else’s problems, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Walter wasn’t in a position to make major sweeping changes. “I knew that I wanted to make small incremental changes that would really impact my career and go forward that were lasting.”
Creating separation
For Walter, an initial focus of our work together was on finding ways to intentionally separate himself from the needs and expectations of others.
Understanding that when a colleague needed something, it didn’t automatically mean Walter needed to provide the solution.
Seeing that a conflict between colleagues could stay between those colleagues. It wasn’t on Walter to intervene.
Recognizing that a friend’s desire for venting or socializing didn’t always need to be met through Walter.
Identifying when someone else’s reaction, needs, or goals were things for that other person to worry about. It didn’t need to be on Walter to respond, manage, or address.
As Walter shares, “It's been really impactful for me to not feel panicky all the time or respond with a knee-jerk reaction. Now, when something bad happens at work, I’m focused on helping solve the problem instead of getting upset about it.”
Deciding and going after what he wanted
Being able to separate someone else's needs and expectations from himself was the first step, but what Walter was really looking for was agency.
Agency to pursue a life of his own choosing, something that served who he was now as a professional and as a person.
As we’ve continued our coaching, Walter has worked on becoming more intentional about the things he wants to prioritize and how he wants to spend his time.
The way he wants to show up in his current role.
The career change he’s interested in making.
The way he’s present with his family.
Bringing it all together
Now, Walter is making intentional choices about how he responds to those around him, and where he chooses to focus his attention. He still needs to deal with the chaos around him, but it’s feeling more manageable, and he’s been able to create more of the agency he’s been craving.
Before coaching, Walter had “lost himself”. Through our work together, he’s “gotten back to finding out who he is and gotten realigned to his personal mission.”
* Shared with permission. Name and identifying details changed to honor client privacy.
Could you benefit from finding ways to separate yourself from the chaos around you and find more agency and ownership over the life you want?
Should we talk?
You’re here. You want to be there. I can help.
Book time, and we’ll figure out how to get you unstuck and get going.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
September 11, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
