The Familiar
Do you ever feel like something’s holding you back?
That invisible string that’s keeping you from taking the leap, making the change, or doing the thing you know you want to do to create the future you want?
This comes up often in coaching conversations.
The leader who is insecure because their staff has deeper (or more proficient) understanding in their area of responsibility.
The job seeker who takes the “safe” job because it’s available when they really want to be doing something else.
The executive new to the board room, worried they don’t belong.
Often, this invisible string comes from a place of protection. There’s a story we tell ourselves, about how to stay safe or be successful in the world, that at one point served us well. Perhaps it’s a message we received early on from a parent or a teacher. Or maybe it’s something we internalized based on our own observations of how the world works. Or maybe a bit of wisdom we got at one point that we filed away.
The problem comes when the story no longer serves us. As we grow and evolve, and as our circumstances change, and as the world around us comes to look very different from our past, what once helped keep us safe or made us successful may not work anymore.
And yet, there’s comfort in clinging to the wisdom of the past. Believing that, if we just lean in a little harder to that story, all will be well and we can control the outcome.
But that’s often not true. In fact, leaning in to those outdated beliefs often brings us more harm, more challenge, worse results.
So how do we identify those sneaky outdated beliefs?
Sometimes, they’re dressed up like “I have to”, “I need to”, or someone “expects me to”.
Or, they look like “I can’t”, “I shouldn’t”, or people like me “don’t do that”.
Other times, they show up in the judgements we make of others, like “they’re irresponsible by doing that”, “they’re selfish because they do that”, or ‘they’re [fill in the blank judgement] because they do that”.
What outdated stories are holding you back?
What beliefs do you want to embrace instead?
July 30, 2026
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
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