It was an amazing trip. When I came home, I didn’t want it to end. I knew I was different. And yet, as I settled back into my daily routine, the obligations of my life, the familiar patterns, I could tell I was losing the impact of the experience. I had been through something significant. I should be transformed by it. And yet there was a risk of it having no impact. 

Have you ever felt this way? 

It was time. I had come to the decision that I wanted a coach. Someone who would help me get to the next level, and work through some patterns that I knew I wanted to change. 

Have you ever felt this way?

It didn’t go as planned. By the end of the week, I knew things had fallen apart. Several meetings were rescheduled. One was cancelled. Good news that I was expecting had gone the other way. Big items on my to-do list were still undone. By the end of the week, I was beating myself up pretty bad about not making the progress I hoped for. I felt stuck. 

Has this ever happened to you?

For weeks, I felt my rise while high while driving, especially when I went through that intersection. It was strongest when I was making that same left turn, but even when I approached the intersection from a different direction, I could feel it rise up. I needed to get that anxiety under control. 

Has this ever happened to you? 

I could do it better if I had my own axe. If she was ever in a friend’s kitchen, helping prepare a meal, the expression would come out. She would be chopping something, or whisking, or whatever, and if it wasn’t going quite right, didn’t feel quite as familiar, the expression would come out.

Have you ever felt this way? 

I was packing for a 2 week trip to Italy. I kept running in circles trying to decide what would go and what I would leave behind. I laid out a few things, swapped things out, tried packing and repacking to make sure I had enough space. It was hard to know how to prepare, when I didn’t know exactly what we’d be facing on the trip. 

Have you ever felt this way? 

It was an impulse buy. I was getting my winter tires swapped out, and the tech asked me…“How are your windshield wipers doing?” Unfortunately, things didn’t go as I had hoped. My old wiper blades would have been better. Much better. What I had hoped would be better, a good choice, didn’t work out as expected. 

Have you ever feared this would happen to you?

One step at a time. One foot in front of the other.  It felt like we were never going to get there. There’s the top of the hill, it’s all downhill from there! No, not quite, that’s a false flat, there’s more climbing ahead. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. 

Have you ever felt this way?

I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was a rare Saturday with NOTHING, I mean NOTHING, on the schedule. No plans, no commitments, no expectations.  There were too many options. I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Has this ever happened to you?

It just wasn’t working. I had recently added in more strength sessions to my weekly workout routine. Overall, it was going well…I was increasing my weights, feeling strong, and starting to recover faster from my workouts. Except…Leg day. And then one day the instructor said something that completely changed my mindset. 

Has this ever happened to you?

I was terrified. It was 2:45 in the morning. Sleeping deeply, I was awoken by the blare of an unbelievably loud smoke detector. Thankfully, within a few moments, the alarm stopped. As suddenly as it started. I took a quick look around the house to assess the situation. No clear cause for that night’s terror. I was safe. 

Can you move on when the crisis is over?

It was testing day. That night, I watched about 50 elementary and middle school students test across a half dozen or so levels and noticed something interesting when it came to the board breaking. While some students broke their board on the first try, most needed several attempts. A few struggled. As a student struggled, they got more and more frustrated with each attempt.

Has this ever happened to you?

At first I was mad at the restaurant. How dare they change their ingredients without transparency? The person I was really mad at was myself. I had failed to hold my own boundary. I didn’t double check that the item I was ordering was safe for me. 

Has this ever happened to you?

I’m not usually into jigsaw puzzles. But on a recent family trip to the mountains, my 6 year-old niece wanted to do a puzzle we found in the closet. Pretty soon, it became overwhelming. 

Has this ever happened to you? 

That day, I had a decision to make. 

When I go for a walk, I have few decisions to make - one loop or more, short loop or long. It’s pretty easy, comfortable. I know what I’m getting into. But that particular day, as I approached a parking lot by the far side of the lake, I noticed it.

Should I keep doing what I’ve always done, or try something different?

I decided to go for it. It was going to be an experiment, but how bad could it be? Turns out, pretty bad. Even though I did some research and felt reasonably optimistic about the outcome, my experiment went awry. 

Has this ever happened to you?

They seemed perfect when I bought them.

I was looking for new shoes. And I thought I had found them.

Has this ever happened to you?

“Have you grieved yet?” I asked. 

“No, I don’t need to. I want to go. It will be fine.” 

Has this ever happened to you?

What do you know when someone has their turn signal on? They have their turn signal on. Sure, you can combine that fact with other insights to have a strong hypothesis about the other driver, but at the end of the day, that’s all you really know. They have their turn signal on. 

How often do we forget this lesson? 

“You need to make a decision.” 

My car had been deemed a total loss, and I needed a new car. But I was overwhelmed. I hadn’t planned on buying a new car anytime soon, and I had other things in my life consuming my attention. It was just too much. 

Have you ever felt this way?